SLPT: Confuse those wine snobs by *hearing* the wine
so i told my mom about this post before she and my dad went on a trip to napa, and she was delighted to try this out
and apparently, when she straight-faced, lifted her glass of chardonnay to her ear and swirled it, she baffled the other winery-goers so much that they all instinctively did exactly the same thing. that sort of crowd-think, that you aren’t quite sure what’s right but you’ll be damned if you’re mistaken for the plebian that you are
but watching that was enough for my mom to lose her composure, laugh so hard she cried, and spill the entire glass all over herself, in the process getting kicked out of the winery
People nowadays are so obsessed with redemption arcs like. Give me a good corruption arc. Watch me go wild over my favourite characters going mad and committing atrocious acts against the very nature of humanity
Those loony Christian signs listing all the types of sinners who will go to Hell (ABORTIONISTS SATANISTS GAMBLERS FORNICATORS) always make me feel bad because I know I’d fall under a lot more categories if I just got out more. It’s introvert shaming, that’s what it is.
hello people today i ask: what is your favorite artificial flavor, generally? like if you’re having a new artificially flavored thing and need to pick a standard flavor, what are you going for?
The more I read about ADHD the more I feel like one of those birds that got imprinted on a human and grew up having no fucking idea it is a duck. Like not even about things I SUCK at, but fucking everything I thought was only a part of my personality. Like imagine being like
“Oh man I hate taking walks next to bodies of water, I always want to jump in and it’s really hard to resist the urge and either I jump into the water and people get weirded out, or I have to spend the entire time resisting the urge to go into the water, so I’m distracted from the conversation, and people get annoyed with me.”
“That’s because you’re a duck.”
“The what.”
“You want to be in the water because you’re a duck. People don’t get an urge to go into any random body of water every time they see one. That’s a duck urge. You have it because you’re a duck.”
“Wait other people aren’t just better at resisting the urge, they literally don’t even have it in the first place.”
Trans women will never be free until people stop having strong emotions about penises. Like we, as a society, have got to stop caring about dicks! Dicks have to stop symbolizing maleness, obviously, but they also have to stop symbolizing power, dominance, sexual agency and aggression, violence, and even sex itself. Like trans women can’t be free if the very conceptual presence of a penis represents an intrusion(!) of unwanted(!) sexuality(!) in public life. Like that’s why trans women are abhorrent to both male chauvinists and radical feminists, because both groups have extremely strong feelings about what a penis *represents*, and find the conceptual and actual presence of a woman with a penis to be simultaneously vile and nonsensical because they’ve loaded so much symbolic baggage onto both women and penises.
Anyway dicks are totally neutral body parts and seeing a dick, or a bulge in a swimsuit, or simply knowing that there’s a dick somewhere in the same bathroom as you isn’t harmful or violent
Chad wholesome Anglo name for little old ladies who help us cross the road vs virgin crossing guards to protect American children from their millionth school shooting.
“Hey that’s kind of a silly term for the job, huh?”
“I bet your kids died in a school shooting.”
Yankoids seething.
“Hey that joke about kids getting shot was kinda out of proportion to this silly joke about cultural differences.”
“SEETHING”
Americans: lollipop ladies! Sounds like something from the shire! Cute and wholesome name that we’re going to gently roast!
Some Asshole: yeah well your kids keep getting murdered and an entire generation is traumatized by active shooter drills so TAKE THAT
Alrighty but clearly if Brits had mass shootings and bad healthcare they would start calling them something like Doopsie Poobles and The Sklunge.
Hey fellow brits, I know many of you were probably born after this happened, but you really should learn about the Dunblane massacre. Mass school shooting in scotland in 1996.
